My Family is Nutz - Irrational Sister

so, my sister has only been engaged for a month and already there's tons of drama... i want to be supportive, but it's hard considering i don't agree with her... here's the story (it's gonna be long one, so grab some popcorn and get ready for some entertainment):

just over a month ago... josh (my sister's fiance) finally decided that he wanted to go to engineering school next fall... well, since there are none within commuting distance from meadowview, that means a move out of town for him... my sister, being worried that he would go off to school and forget her (since she would have one more year in college in SWVA), started pushing for an engagement... after all, they have been together nearly 4 years, and she was tired of feeling like josh had the attitude "why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?" seriously, they've been together for a long time, spend almost every waking moment together (when not in classes), it was like they were married, i sort of see her point... it was time to shit or get off the pot... she was happy with the thought of getting engaged... that held her over, and reassured her that he was committed to her... and she was happy with leaving it at that for now...

well, the closest eng. college is about an hour and a half from meadowview, but josh doesn't want to go there... there are a bajillion students and he'd just be a number... kind of intimidating and unappealing for someone who comes from a town with less than 500 people (his high school had about 200 people, if that many)... so he starts looking into colleges that are a little farther away (but still within a day's drive)... my sister, upon hearing this, flips out... she gets really worried that he's gonna be so far away from her... so she moves up the wedding date (from aug 2007) to aug 2006... now, at this time, they would both still be full time students (read: unable to work full time jobs to support themselves)... mom brought up the fact that they're not going to be able to afford living together and going to school, and mel informs mom that she intends to live at home her last year of college (after she's married, mind you) and will move to where josh is when she graduates... sounds like a logical solution in her mind, but she's not getting the whole point of being married thing... no one gets married just to voluntarily live apart for their first year...

for those of you who don't know my sister, she can be irrational... and when she doesn't want to hear something, she will scream at the top of her lungs and leave the room... so any conversation about how she might want to rethink her plan was not happening... so, after a week of mom trying to reason with her, mel gets the bright idea that if she can't go to school, and afford to be married, then she just won't go to school... and drops out... after 3 years towards an education degree, she decides she doesn't want to do that anymore... and what's worse (if it can get worse) is that she dropped out a day after the add/drop period... so now she has a semester of classes to pay for that she won't be attending... in addition to paying for a wedding, and figuring out how to manage affording a married life in just under a year...

so a week goes by and mel obviously gets bored with her part time job, and being at home during the day... so she decides she wants to go to beauty school... now, i love my sister to death... but this girl has no cosmetology talent... okay, so she knows how to apply make-up, but knows nothing about how to pick colors that accent a persons attributes, and she's never cut hair in her life!!! so mom brings up some points about the only beauty school in the area offering ONLY DAY CLASSES (which means she couldn't work her part time job that only has day hours - the office is closed at night) and costs nearly $2K per semester... so not only will she have the above mentioned expenses, but now beauty school... and even if you graduate beauty school, it takes a really long time before you really start to make money at it... but she's still determined this is what she wants to do...

i called mel the other day to ask her if she had a wedding planning book... one with everything listed for a budget, everything to consider when getting married... sort of an all encompassing "this is what your life for the next year will be like, are you sure you're ready for this?" type of book... and of course, she didn't have one... so i got it for her as an engagement gift... then she asks when i'm coming home because i need to try on my bridesmaid dress... oy... my sister and i aren't close... never have been... so i'm not sure why i'm a bridesmaid... i know she has friends... so i'm trying to think of a nice way of asking her if including me was her idea, or mom's idea... it's not that i don't want to be there for her, i'm just not sure i'm the best choice...

"and what does josh have to say about all of this?" you ask... well, he's tried talking about the timeline with mel, and she does her screaming and leaving thing... and threatens to break up with him... mel is the only person that josh has ever loved... she's the only person that even looked twice at him... and he doesn't want to lose her... and i know mel truly loves him too and doesn't want to lose him either... i really think they are "the ones" for each other, but i think they need to rethink the plan... life is happening so fast for each of them, and in SWVA there are lots of pressures to get married after a certain time of dating (i experience them first hand everytime i visit home), that's just how things are... and the fear of being apart, and how they're both going to change is pushing this too...

i wish i had some good sisterly advice for them... the rational part of me knows that if they waited a year, then they would both be in a better situation to start a life together... but the emotional part of me knows how hard it is to be separated, and that no amount of reason can make you stop feeling like you just want to be together... i just want them to be happy... yeah...

okay, on the next episode of "my family is nutz" you'll find out about the too-smart-for-his-own-good brother... stay tuned!